Dear Shepherd, Heal First – Dear Pastor Series 2

Welcome to the Dear Pastor Series. A heartfelt letter from a member to their beloved shepherd.

First, we honor and deeply appreciate your spiritual leadership, your sacrifice, and the weight you carry in shepherding God’s people. You are a gift to the body of Christ.

“And He gave some… pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints and the building up of the body”(Ephesians 4:11–12). But just as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17), this series comes from a place of love, growth, and accountability.

It is not criticism, it’s conversation. Not rebellion, it’s reflection. We’re asking that, as you teach and guide, you also listen and consider.

There are things we’d love you to see through the lens of the people you serve, Our struggles, our wrestles, our humanity.

So stay with us. Each part of this series seeks to build bridges, not walls.

Let the Holy Spirit speak through these words and stir something fresh in both pulpit and pew.

This is Part 2. If you missed Part 1, read it here 👉 Dear Pastor Series 1

Dear Shepherd,

You are human. Yes, you are called. Yes, you are anointed. But never forget, you are human first.

Human enough to feel. To hurt. To carry wounds. To bleed internally and still preach boldly.

But the truth is if you don’t acknowledge your trauma, you may unintentionally transfer it to your congregation.

The grace of God may rest heavily on your office, but self-awareness and healing are still your personal responsibility.

“Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.”

– 1 Corinthians 10:12

Before you are a pastor, you are a man. That truth doesn’t diminish your calling, it protects your heart from pride and spiritual performance.

“For we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.”

— 2 Corinthians 4:7

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

— Romans 3:23

Trauma has a voice, and if unhealed, it can start to echo in your sermons, your counselling, and your leadership. You may begin to preach your personal convictions as doctrine. You may shame your people in areas where you were once broken but never healed. You may spiritualize your wounds and unknowingly disciple others into your dysfunction. You may teach your pain, not God’s Word.

“Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards.”

— Song of Songs 2:15

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.”

— Psalm 139:23

When sharing principles or experiences, differentiate clearly between biblical instruction and personal convictions. For example, discouraging therapy without biblical context or clinical understanding may keep wounded people in bondage even if you mean well. Some pastors mock therapy, declaring “All you need is the Holy Spirit.” But what if God uses therapists, too?

Didn’t the same Bible say “in the multitude of counsel, there is safety”? Isn’t the Word itself therapeutic — “restoring the soul”?(Psalm 19:7) When you say, “Therapy is useless,” without understanding people’s psychological journeys, you trap them in guilt, in silence, in cycles they don’t know how to break.

“Do not go beyond what is written.”

— 1 Corinthians 4:6

“Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still.”

— Proverbs 9:9

You may not realize it, but you’re birthing a congregation too scared to seek help, too ashamed to process their pain, and too bound to walk in true freedom. The Spirit heals, YES! But He also LEADS us to tools, professionals, and processes that aid healing. That’s why self-awareness is a leadership gift.

Recognize your humanity. Own your wounds. Heal intentionally. And most IMPORTANTLY , when you’re sharing personal wisdom, state clearly: “This is from my experience, not a doctrinal absolute.”

God is vast. His ways are layered. As pastors, we see in part, not the whole.

“For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.”

1 Corinthians 13:9 (KJV):

The glory of God cannot be boxed into one man’s journey or style.

“Now we see through a glass, darkly… but then face to face.”

– 1 Corinthians 13:12

Avoid creating a congregation that’s more loyal to you than to Christ. Teach liberty with responsibility. Lead like a servant, not a tyrant.

“Not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.”

— 1 Peter 5:3

“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

— 2 Corinthians 3:17

We love and honour you, dear Shepherd. But please recognize, spiritual authority does not mean emotional perfection. Let God heal your wounds so you don’t unconsciously disciple us into them.

Guide with wisdom.Lead with love, not fear. Teach with truth, not trauma. Shepherd with grace, not control.

Your voice is powerful, let it heal, not harm.. And trust the Holy Spirit to finish what you start.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

— Psalm 34:18

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…

— Philippians 1:6

With love,

Tamuno Abraham

Selah.